YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!

" Thanks for taking the time to listen to me complain about you never listening to me!"
Is this conversation familiar?

I'm sure it is.

This happens in every couple at some point. The challenge is to diminish as much as possible the frequency of it.

Usually the best at not listening are the men. Women, though, are no exception. Parents also. What about children? They are the champions when it comes to not listening to their parents. What about angry customers? Or indifferent business owners. Or employers...

Among the many causes of this lack of communication is one that is sadly ignored over and over again: people are paying full attention to whatever interests them.

Most of the time, we think about ourselves: what I want, what I am interested in, what gives me pleasure & satisfaction.

Most of the time we think about our own person.

If one would try to make a statistic about the word that is mostly used in all types of conversations, what do you think the result would be?

Your guess is correct: I.

"I" is the most used word in a conversation.

What differentiates us, humans, from animals is the feeling of importance.

This is the most powerful drive for an individual.

We want our importance to be recognized publicly, we want to be praised & appreciated, we want to be acknowledged.

We all want to be heard, to be listened to.

When somebody really listens to us, we feel extraordinary. It means that what we say is important, is worth hearing.

It means we matter for the other person.

Perhaps if we tried to really focus our attention on what the other person is saying, stopping for only a few minutes to think about ourselves, things would be different.

Perhaps, if we want to be listened, we could try to listen first to the other, and then his/her attention would be granted undivided & willingly, we could try to be first genuinely interested in what he/she wants, and then ask to be heard.

Perhaps, You Never Listen To Me could turn into:

If you think it requires too much effort, search your heart, and you will discover it is life-changing:

 " It's impossible", said pride. "It's risky", said experience. "It's pointless", said reason."Give it a try", whispered the HEART

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash